the day before yesterday I was with the flu. fever, tired body. slept bad, with alucinations.

next day, after sleeping until 15:00, i was almost recovered.
i felt as if resurfacing on the other side.

the sickness was some kind of death

sickness as the dark side (concept by Susan Sontag, ‘sickness as a metaphor’ and taken further in The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography by Siddhartha Mukherjee.)

what made me think of the fact that a lot of people in the weekend drink and get drugged like crazy, and then stay hung-over for a day.
to die a bit. to get out of their bodies. to experience some kind of physical limitation, pain.

Joseph Campbell in the Power of the Myth talks about this, about the reason why teenagers take drugs: due to a lack of a mystical experience in the current times/society.

and performance artists. and rituals. seems it comes all from the same need (although with VERY different forms and implications)

in the movie Shame, the last addictive trip of the character is like this, from one dose to the other, gradually more extreme, and self-destructive.

[ it is good to know how my thoughts relate to world, to people around me. But still…. despite generalizations, assumptions, i can still only talk and deal with myself. ]